“Anything is possible”

This past week was hard.  Really hard. My stomach is beyond raw at this point. Early Tuesday morning I was vomiting the acid out of my stomach into a cooking pot (I know the visual sorry but I’m being real here).  Thanks for the pot and Alka-Selzter Mom! Savior at 4.30am. I feel like that episode pushed me back a few days in the recovery department but each treatment is a shit show. I really have no idea what to expect.  It’s like Hello Good Morning Oh F*ck! Over and over again. Then I turn that corner and I’m doing leg kicks. But this corner I turned physically was good but not mentally. The chemo hair thinning/ loss has reared it’s head. No pun intended.  After my second treatment my hair started thinning at very fast pace. I was quite surprised. After my third treatment, well let’s just say I have PTSD about taking a shower, washing and brushing my hair. Even though I do everything by the book ... the hair keeps falling out.  There are tears in my eyes every ...

Some realizations after my first cycle of chemo and now going into my third round and second cycle on Friday of this week... if you don’t take notes, mental notes even when going through chemo and your fight with Cancer you will fail... EPICALLY. I had no clue what the heck my body was going to feel like, what I wanted to eat, what I didn’t want to eat, my hair thinning and how I could maintain the mane, etc.  Let me be real, I had no idea I was going to feel like a bus hit me and reversed over my body a few times for six days straight after my cocktail.  It is all a learning curve. I feel this thought process can pertain to everyday life, not just the “chemo cancer” life. For example... starting a new diet, a new job, working out and or training for a specific sport, having a baby, adopting a dog or a cat, the list goes on. You need to have the right tools, education and training to start, maintain and successfully live and perform for the future.   So here is how I set ...

I’m exhausted.  I’m exhausted mentally and physically. Physically I’m just exhausted because they injected me with poison. Killing all bad cells and good cells. So obviously I will be exhausted. But shit, I’m winded!  Me! An Ironman? Winded? Yes!  Then there is the mental aspect of it. I’m tired of waking up and not feeling “normal”. I’m tired of waking up and feeling something “different” from the chemo. I’m tired of mentally having to change my mindset every day to something new. It’s exhausting! And yes I am complaining. And when I complain I feel bad because others have it worse or had it worse. So then that makes me tired! I think you can catch my drift here. I’m exhausted but there are things that help me turn that corner.  My care team helps me ❤️ Offering me help makes me stronger ❤️ Being grateful gives me a sigh of relief ❤️ Humor and sick and twisted comments make me laugh ❤️ Buying soft turbans to wear on my head brings me joy since I don’t have to blow d...

Every year World Cancer Day is celebrated on February 4th.  The purpose of the UICC is to support the World Cancer Declaration. The primary purpose of celebrating this day is to reduce the number of cancer patients and to reduce the death rate causing due to it.  Ironically today is World Cancer Day and I’m receiving  my second treatment of Chemo. Sending love and strength to the fighters, survivors and the taken ❤️🎗 Cycle #2 ✔️ Check out Team in Training and the amazing things they do for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  https://www.teamintraining.org/

So today was a good day... no actually it was a great day, probably until I got a stress headache in the afternoon but I digress.  Today was a great day. Today I got a hair cut.  I needed it. Not just for the ends of my hair but mentally I needed just a normal day. A day for myself. A day of feeling good and feeling pretty (thank you Miguel). Because honestly, I’ve been looking like a sea monster lately because I can only wash my hair every two to four days, no blow outs and I have to use baby shampoo which can be a little tough on this mane of mine. Let’s talk hair loss and chemo and what could be in store for me ... I have a 10% chance of losing my hair completely with this treatment. 10% is strong BUT low. I could lose in patches of my head, it can thin, it could look crazy.. sky is the limit when it comes to hair but everyone is different so the doctors can not confirm. All they can confirm is the above and the rate. Hair loss begins after your first treatment. Anywhere be...

So I turned a huge corner on Friday... I no longer need a chaperone! Hooray! (the chaperone was mostly for overnights since I had a few bad ones that I hope to never revisit).  My appetite has come back about 85% which is amazing since I lost about 8lbs in less than a week .. no bueno.  I put on about 2 lbs now which is so much better and I’ve been working on getting those healthy calories in prior to my next treatment on February 4th.  I’m sooooo happy that I’m feeling better and stronger each day leading up to treatment.  I will be honest, I was very scared with how terrible I felt last week and I couldn’t help but think to myself  “how am I going to make it another seven treatments if I’m always going to feel like this!?”  Insert my brother’s words of wisdom “you better get your mind right son.”  And so I did. I started my building phase. Which is a term we use for Ironman training. The build phase in training is focusing on strength and power devel...