Exhausted from being Exhausted

I’m exhausted.  I’m exhausted mentally and physically. Physically I’m just exhausted because they injected me with poison. Killing all bad cells and good cells. So obviously I will be exhausted. But shit, I’m winded!  Me! An Ironman? Winded? Yes!  Then there is the mental aspect of it. I’m tired of waking up and not feeling “normal”. I’m tired of waking up and feeling something “different” from the chemo. I’m tired of mentally having to change my mindset every day to something new. It’s exhausting! And yes I am complaining. And when I complain I feel bad because others have it worse or had it worse. So then that makes me tired! I think you can catch my drift here.

I’m exhausted but there are things that help me turn that corner.  My care team helps me ❤️ Offering me help makes me stronger ❤️ Being grateful gives me a sigh of relief ❤️ Humor and sick and twisted comments make me laugh ❤️ Buying soft turbans to wear on my head brings me joy since I don’t have to blow dry my hair for four months ❤️ Wearing designer sweat pants from LuLu Lemon and Athelta every damn day helps obviously ❤️ But what really helps me is that corner that I turn on day six after chemo ❤️ Lord have mercy thank you  🙏  It gives me the strength to make it to the next treatment and not make me feel like I’m going to dry heave into the toilet for hours ❤️

I know this blog post sounds very exhausting but it’s real and I’m exhausted. It’s OK to be exhausted! And if your exhausted take a damn nap or take a time out! Chemo or not... things make you tired but some how we always find our way to make ourselves feel better ❤️ 

Now let’s go take a nap.  Because I’m exhausted.