Life is a Marathon, Not a Sprint

It's about that time....my random blog post.

So back in September I completed a half Ironman up in Laconia, NH.  What some of you may or may not know (given if you read my post or not) is that I went into that race with a bit of hip issue and had it under control prior to racing but it ended up just not being the day I wanted given other issues through the race.  OK fine... it was not my day.  Now with it being a month or so past the race I'm finally starting to introduce running into my schedule again.  The issue/ injury just wouldn't clear up so of course the smart thing to do was to pull from marathon training and the NYC Marathon on November 6th (great news though... I am deferring to next year).  Am I happy about this... no.  But doing anything injured or in pain is not ideal and I would only beat myself up about my performance and or not finish (which is even worse to your psyche).  I guess the point I am trying to get to here is BE KIND TO YOURSELF.  I put a lot of pressure on myself to be at a certain place in my life at times and it sucks.  There are days that I notice it and there are days that I do not.  The days that I notice it more are when I'm on social media reading/ seeing everyone running and living their best life with long hair.  I want to run and I want long hair damn it!  Obviously I will run again at full potential soon... as my hip is feeling better and I will have long hair again since it is growing and I'm currently looking like Princess Diana.  When you are in that moment of not feeling great and then you go on social media it's like a spiral.  Don't get me wrong, I love social media for laughs and interesting real people and articles but I can HATE social media at the same time for the fake content and fake personas of people and things that affect me when I'm already feeling a certain way about myself.  It is so easy to just sit there and compare yourself to others.  For me, my comparisons go like this..

Wow, should I be racing more?

Oh I'm so happy for her... she beat cancer and her hair is growing so fast... I hope mine picks up the pace soon!

It's so nice out.. I wish I was running

Should I be skinnier?  I'm a size 8. Should I be a size 6?

OOOOOHHH do I need those new sneakers?

Those are just a handful of things I can note but I think you get the point.  Of course I know the answers to these spirally questions!  I just close social media and refocus my brain on my story, my life and how far I've come.  I've learned to do things to make myself happy.  Practice self care... It's hard but it truly does help.  It's a process but you will enjoy it.  Self care does not have to be a mani pedi... I mean it can be... but I found out that going through my clothes and donating to a good cause makes me feel sooooo good!  Even if I donate my clothes to friends... it's taking the time to clean out the old to make room for the new or just nothing at all.

Learning how to be kind to yourself is a process.  Right now I'm going through this weird off-season phase of "I miss my schedule and training but I have such a great social life" and my "I don't have a social life right now but I love working to this end goal."  That balance mentally is hard but I'm finding my way because I'm learning how to be kind.  For the love of god I had Cancer, cut the bullshit Stephanie "Bartish" from "Garfield", NJ (there is a joke in there).  Life is a marathon and not a sprint.  Some get there faster than others and that is OK.  We must remember though, when we focus and grind, we do get there eventually and the feeling of that goal being reached is absolutely amazing.  

Happy Monday!

xo

Stephanie "Bartish"