Building Confidence

It’s been a while since I blogged …. I guess you can say I’ve been working on myself and acclimating to the world yet again. I’ve had a really really really really rough start to 2021. Having Cancer rocked my world and it also rocked the world’s of my family and friends that are very close to me. I want to thank each and every one of you for being their for me at my worst. Allowing me to yell and scream and just allow me to be me… whatever that is/was. It’s still very hard for me to look at pictures of my past right before I started treatment.  I don’t even recognize that person at all. I know she is still there inside somewhere but on the outside it seems so different. I’m sure to some or most that you won’t ever understand because I am always smiling, making jokes, training for an Ironman or something but it’s been hard. I’m proud of my progress thus far.  I work so hard at bettering myself and my health each day.  I take pride in it. I surround myself with only good people (not that I never did that) but yea it’s a thing ….. can’t have the nonsense … boundaries Stephanie … boundaries.

Right now I’m focusing on my confidence.  My confidence in my new body and mind. Yup … people after Cancer are like brand new. New body and new mindset. People may think “WOW that’s an easy life to live, onward and upward” … but it’s not.  You have to work hard at it each and everyday … at least I think you do.  You have to put the work in and really address what the actual fuck is going on in your mind and body each day. Do things that make you happy again and that don’t overwhelm you. Do things to bring on that confidence and build that confidence. Pretty starts on the inside and works it’s way outwards. Like Beyoncé always says and I swear I make jokes about this “pretty hurts”. Yes it does girl… yes it does. 

So I’m sure your wondering what helps my confidence … my therapists … obviously.. but also swimming. Swimming is my thing. Swimming is fucking hard.  You can’t breathe in the water duh!  Plus chemo rocked my lungs and my endurance …. HARD! But distance swimming is also hard. It pushes you.. it makes you panic at times but the swimming is helping.  Here’s a fun tip when swimming and panicking… either stand up HAHA Yup! Just stand up if you can and breathe or roll onto your back and float for a bit. Your welcome. Moving on … swimming is helping more than I could even imagine. Yes the biking, running and strength helps but swimming is where it’s at for me. Many thanks to the world reopening and me rejoining my Masters peeps and coaches #justkeepswimming.

I also started work this week as well… work adds structure and gives me a sense of purpose. I love it. Truly blessed for my job and my team at Verizon. Slow and steady and staying above the line always! 

Remember … surround yourself with people that will support you in your life journey and make you a better person. People that will make you push and make you want to be a better person (no matter how good you already think you are right now). Those people add to your confidence (trust me I know first hand).

Also, get your eyebrows microbladed. Eyebrows bring life to your face!  I have like none right now so I know Hahaha!  I’m actually going tomorrow for mine and I want the thickest Frida brow she can give me without looking like Frida. I know a girl if you need recommendations ….

So that’s it for now. Living my life Cancer free and to the fullest every damn day. I’m truly grateful!